People are surprisingly hesitant to reach out to old friends.
Level 2 - randomized trial
Individual experimental and behavioral intervention studies
PubMed 39242759 · doi:10.1038/s44271-024-00075-8
What was done
Across seven behavioral and experimental studies (total N = 2,458), researchers examined why people avoid reconnecting with old friends and tested an intervention to increase outreach. Studies 1 and 2 (n = 401 and n = 199) assessed loss of contact with friends and interest in re-initiating contact. Studies 3 and 4 (n = 453 and n = 604) measured whether participants sent a message when interested, having contact details, and given time to draft it. Studies 5 and 6 (n = 288 and n = 319) compared willingness to contact friends versus strangers and evaluated the perception of old friends as strangers. Study 7 (n = 194) tested an intervention adapted from stranger-anxiety reduction protocols.
What was found
Most participants reported losing touch with an old friend but showed little interest in reaching out (Studies 1-2). Fewer than one-third sent a message to an old friend even under optimal conditions (Studies 3-4). Willingness to contact an old friend was no higher than willingness to speak to a stranger (Study 5) and was lower when friends felt more like strangers (Study 6). An intervention designed to ease stranger-related anxiety increased the proportion of participants reaching out by two-thirds (Study 7).
Why it matters
People avoid reviving dormant friendships partly because old friends psychologically feel like strangers. Interventions targeting stranger-related anxiety can significantly boost social reconnection.
Limits
Participant demographics, specific intervention details, exact percentages, effect size confidence intervals, and long-term friendship outcomes were not reported in the abstract.