The surprise of reaching out: Appreciated more than we think.
Level 2 - randomized trial
Series of preregistered controlled behavioral experiments.
PubMed 35816566 · doi:10.1037/pspi0000402
What was done
Across a series of preregistered experiments, researchers tested whether individuals (initiators) accurately estimate how much people in their social circle (responders) appreciate being reached out to via brief check-in messages or small gifts. The experiments examined the role of surprise in this miscalibration and evaluated potential moderators, including context surprise and social distance between individuals.
What was found
The abstract reports no numerical values, sample sizes, or statistical metrics. It reports that initiators robustly underestimated how much recipients appreciated being reached out to. Responders were more focused on feelings of surprise than initiators anticipated, and this surprise predicted greater appreciation. The underestimation was magnified when the reach-out occurred in a more surprising context or between socially distant rather than socially close individuals.
Why it matters
This paper identifies a systematic psychological barrier to casual social connection: people underestimate recipient appreciation because they fail to account for how positively surprising the gesture is. Recognizing this miscalibration may encourage more frequent outreach across social networks.
Limits
The abstract provides no sample sizes, effect sizes, p-values, or confidence intervals. Specific experimental interventions, recipient demographics, cultural contexts, and potential negative boundary conditions (such as unwelcome outreach) are not described.
Cited by
- supports People are overly pessimistic and fearful about how positively other people will respond when reached out to in a positive way.